Monday, 4 August 2008 - 4:12 PM PDT

I agree with what you have written.  For some it may be something else but I know with my husband it is a fetish.  At first I felt sorry for him having to hide this aspect of himself - discriminated against.  At first I thought it would lead to a more loving connected relationship between us - in all ways.  At first I thought that it didn't bother me.  I accepted it.  I shopped for him and with him.  I looked at it as role playing or some other toy for our lovemaking.  I thought if he felt more like a woman maybe he would become more in touch with his emotions, willing and able to talk about them and more caring about mine.  Instead he became more obsessed with himself.  Lovemaking was no longer any kind of interaction between us but the opportunity for him to have me "treat him like a woman".  I don't know where he got his mental picture of what a real woman is, but it does not match with mine.  It is more slut and tramp than woman.  Even the "clothes" he wants, seldom are the really clothes - just lingerie and some slutty clothes.  And then he asks me, Do I think he is pretty...well gee....first let me get past the beard.  Do I think he would pass?  Is the mirror not clear enough?  No - this is not some internal emotional feminine aspect of his personality - this is a fetish for my husband and one I can no longer participate in.  Now the question is can I continue in a marriage, that while a partnership of many years, is a lie in the most fundamental way.

Monday, 8 September 2008 - 11:04 AM PDT

Hello everyone.  First of all I would like to say how wonderful it is to know that others are going through or have gone through what I am experiencing right now. 

I just recently met my fiance's other half about a year and a half ago.  When I first found out I was outraged.  Was he gay?  Bi?  Cheating?  He didn't do much research for himself and was unable to clearly explain to me what was going on.  All I understood was that he was wearing my panties...and being the oldest of three sisters who constantly took my clothes, that was a big no no. 

So much went through my mind.  Lately, I wonder if he is more interested in himself than me.  I told him that I would try to be ok with this, however, I am not sexually interested in him when he's a she and I don't want to feel like I have to join in on sexual encounters.  Why is it such a sexual arousal for him? 

I decided that I would try to be ok with this only a month ago after reading a letter one wife wrote about her experience.  They loved eachother and they compromised and it was worth it for them.  She said that he was sweeter and more sincere and fun to be around.  I just don't know what i can do to tame the sexual part of crossdressing. 

I need someone to talk to about this.  I have read the "reasons" why some men do this, and really I want to be fine with it.  But I'm struggling so much with understanding his arousal by himself in women's clothes.